I'm (27M) at a loss. I feel undesired and unheard by my wife of < 3 years (28F)

2021.11.27 06:32 throwaway_091285 I'm (27M) at a loss. I feel undesired and unheard by my wife of < 3 years (28F)

Disclaimer: I have already arranged to speak with a relationship counselor about this.
I'm a person who puts a fairly high importance on physical intimacy. I could explain all the reasons why, but I think we can all agree that sex is a good thing for relationships (when both sides want it). Suffice to say: if I don't feel desired in that way, I find it extremely difficult to love and desire the person in return. No matter how great their other qualities are, a strong physical connection (and the resulting emotional connection) is a must to me.
On to the story.
Our relationship ramped up in seriousness very quickly. We conceived after having lived together for 3 months, and knowing each other for less than a year. We were so certain that we were completely right for each other...
I was certain I wanted a child (still am, no regrets), and as far as I knew, she did too. We even planned our fun around her ovulation. By golly, it didn't take much effort. The 9 months following were some my happiest, as I derived a great deal of pleasure in taking care of her and trying to make the entire time as relaxing as possible
Unfortunately things took a turn right about when her water broke. Her autonomy over the birth of her own child was ripped away at the very last moment by her own family (they didn't forcibly remove her control, but she was in no shape to fight it given the vulnerable position she was in). Instead the birth taking place under the care of her prenatal doctor, at the hospital we had been going to for every check-up, it happened at a completely separate hospital under the care of her family's doctor-friend. I think we both felt like her family cared more about getting to snap a picture with the newborn baby than getting that baby connected with its own mother ASAP. My heart wrenches to this day at how it all went.
Fast forward a bit. As time went on after the birth, she became less and less interested in getting physical. When rejected, my usual response was to sleep on the couch. I had a very tough time processing and dealing with the rejections. I would leave it for a day or two, a week, several weeks, before bringing it up again... only to repeat the cycle. A couple of times when she agreed, I had such extreme performance anxiety that I just had to stop (this did not help the anxiety). I became certain she simply didn't want me anymore. Eventually the rejections got to be too painful, and so I elected to just stay on the couch.
I was always kind of 'the one' that was involved with our baby. They slept beside me during those nights on the couch. I guess I had the parenting knack, her not so much. It was disheartening for me to see, but also understandable given her circumstances (not gone into here). Eventually we mutually decided that I would bring our baby back with me to my home country to raise them closer to the support of my own family. We weren't splitting up for good, but we were experimenting with being apart... about a 20 hour triple-layover flight apart.
That brings us to now. After nearly a year apart, we've been talking a lot and generally getting along very well. Our child is doing well and while it's certainly not EASY, I'm getting by raising them in single-parent fashion. I would love to have a physical reunion just as much as ever, but as it turns out, she just doesn't have the desire to be physical and has shared that she may even feel pushed away from my wanting it (when I asked if that may be the case).
This would be grounds for me calling off the relationship. In fact more than once I have declared my feelings of there being very little hope of us being able to make this work. I end up feeling fine with the possibility that our relationship will be over, but always end up having a change of heart - after-all, splitting up may mean that my wife won't be able to see her child again for a very long time.
She is not for the idea of us splitting up, claiming that she feels like there's a good enough chance that we're compatible and can make things work. Yet I feel used in a way... It feels like no matter how I try to get across the importance of physical intimacy to me, it's not something she takes seriously. She acknowledges she would like to change it, but actually doing something about it never seems to be a priority.
Apparently if I talk about the issue with her, it makes her even less attracted to me. If I don't keep talking about it, I have the sense that nothing will change.
I feel like an ultimatum may be needed, but am also worried about the damage it could cause to the relationship.
What do you suggest reddit?
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2021.11.27 06:32 Sleepy-Cthulhu Essential Mods for Skyrim?

I'm fairly new to Skyrim modding. I just recently downloaded Skyrim Special Edition, now that I have a decent enough computer to handle it.
What mods are absolutely essential to any modded playthrough?
submitted by Sleepy-Cthulhu to skyrimmods [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 QuietTown Can Changa properly fit in a spoon pipe?

Trying changa this week. I smoke weed with a spoon pipe but I have to shove the weed in there a certain way so it properly burns and it doesn’t fall through the hole at the bottom. Does a spoon pipe go well with changa?
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2021.11.27 06:32 baiizx look at my insane slug play

https://streamable.com/eudk7g
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2021.11.27 06:32 bros_before_hOE Does anyone know more manhwa where the og heroine or mc isn't a bitch, and is actually really nice? Like Aileen, Yuri and Olivia?

Does anyone know more manhwa where the og heroine or mc isn't a bitch, and is actually really nice? Like Aileen, Yuri and Olivia? submitted by bros_before_hOE to manhwa [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 nadpos I hate going to the mall and seeing everyone with their friends and/or significant other

I just get so jealous and sad because it reminds me of how lonely I am, especially as a teenager or just someone their age. It just kills my mood and I want to go home. I wish I had some friends to hang out with.
submitted by nadpos to lonely [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 Framblelokokopan A repost of one of my posts since everyone said the ice butterfly is most annoying

A repost of one of my posts since everyone said the ice butterfly is most annoying submitted by Framblelokokopan to SummonersGreed [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 JardonYes Haha your mum joke go brrrrr

Haha your mum joke go brrrrr submitted by JardonYes to shitposting [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 AlsaKimmelwitz Online translators

Hello everybody. I have always wondered how many translators for different conlangs there are on the Internet. I have been looking for the most beautiful conlangs for a very long time, and I study their grammar with the help of translators, or I just use them to create beautiful quotes and phrases. I would be very happy if you share your own translators, or those that you know. Thank you in advance.
submitted by AlsaKimmelwitz to conlangs [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 Monkey_brain_112 Help me find a lost board game!

I have been searching for this game for over 8 years now. First of all this is in Finland in years ~2005-2010 im not sure when or where the game was made but this is the time that i owned it. I dont remember the name (otherwise it wouldn't be a mystery) but i remember that the box was orange/yellow in color and i think the cover was 2 kids facing he front with animals in the back but im not sure. You had dice maybe just 1, 4 pieces of cardboard shaped and painted like children on a holding piece for players, 3 colored bags that had tiny rubber animals inside, cards that had drawn animals on them and a minute sand timer. The game rules was something like when you land on a spot you draw a card of that region (savanna, jungle, sea) and the animal you get you have to find in the bags. Then you turn the sand timer and start searching and if you find it you get an extra turn. Then this continues until someone gets in the middle with the diamond. When i moved out i think it was sold or something and after that i have been searching it for many years. please if you have any leads i would like to know. thank you for reading
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2021.11.27 06:32 Acceptable-Ostrich-5 JVC to Downtown

How can I travel from JVC to Downtown? I have taken a new job offer but it’s in Downtown and I live in JVC. I don’t drive.
Would be grateful if anyone could suggest me if there’s an easier way regarding transportation.
submitted by Acceptable-Ostrich-5 to dubai [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Top Stories] - Subbuteo: Is table football enjoying a resurgence? | BBC

[Top Stories] - Subbuteo: Is table football enjoying a resurgence? | BBC submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]


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2021.11.27 06:32 darth2002 Forgotten flavors

With so many new flavors coming out what flavors do you think are being forgotten or overlooked by the community?
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2021.11.27 06:32 gheezer123 What’s Kanye doing when he sees Pete and Kim?

View Poll
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2021.11.27 06:32 lesbianwriterlover69 Humans are Prepared.

"How long till the Leoris can react to the Declaration of War" said the Alliance General.
"About 2 months" said his advisor.
"Good, and the Kriegans?" He asked.
"1 month" the advisor answered.
"....Humans?" The general asked, gulping visibly.
"They have 20 legions of Infantry, 12 fighter squadrons, 17 armored divisions, and at least 5 fleets ready...right now" The advisor said, visibly sweating.
"By the gods, I pray for mercy.....not for us...but for our enemies, for Humanity has been unleashed, may we live the rest of our lives in recompense for the bullshit we are about to see" The general says, wiping his brow as he sees the Human forces filling the sky over the planet.
Humans. Are. Always. PREPARED.
And if they aren't......NUKE.
submitted by lesbianwriterlover69 to humansarespaceorcs [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 Nostalgia4life Redditors under 21: what do you plan on having as a first drink when you finally turn 21?

submitted by Nostalgia4life to AskReddit [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 Successful-Spell6936 What exactly am I doing?

My first Reddit post. Short version: I (M44) am very happily married to an extremely supportive and loving woman who is my age. I had a mental breakdown earlier this year, and my wife has been nothing but supportive. Totally grateful and of course I would do the same for her.
However, I’m not well, and there are aspects of my mental health that I cannot talk with her about (daily passive suicidal ideation, for example) and choose to speak about with professionals.
I am extremely lonely, have no friends, and have become a bit (more than a bit?) attached to a woman 15 years younger than I in a support group and who has been very welcoming and supportive to my recovery.
I think of her often nowadays and focus a lot on our shared backgrounds & interests. Although I think neither of us is foolish enough to cross the line and even mention having feelings (she very likely doesn’t have any for me, given my age; we just get along very well) I still feel unfaithful and guilty.
I’m attached to this person emotionally despite my unwavering love for my wife. Any thoughts? Am I an awful human being/husband?
submitted by Successful-Spell6936 to TooAfraidToAsk [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 Ok-Worldliness-1349 The Ministry of Education is adding an English subject to the elementary school but they're not gonna hire English graduates/teachers. Smh

Echorouk website revealed that neither English graduates nor English teachers will be the first go-to when it comes to teaching English at elementary schools. Instead, French teachers will undergo a supervised English language teaching training program to teach the second foreign language themselves to elementary school students (Bruh). The following quote is taken from Echorouk's official website:
"ويقترح المفتشون على الوزارة الوصية أهمية إدراج اللغة الانجليزية بدءا من السنة ثالثة ابتدائي، بحجم ساعي لا يتجاوز الساعة مبدئيا، على أن يتم الشروع في تكوين أساتذة اللغة الفرنسية تكوينا قاعديا حول تعلمات المادة من طرف مفتشي اللغة الانجليزية للطور المتوسط، وذلك باستغلال عطلتي الشتاء والربيع، على اعتبار أن الوقت الراهن لا يسمح ببرمجة مسابقة جديدة للتوظيف الخارجي لأساتذة المادة جراء استمرار تمدد وباء كورونا ببلادنا."
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2021.11.27 06:32 VenturaHWY Woman Allegedly Breastfeeds Cat on Delta Airlines Flight

Woman Allegedly Breastfeeds Cat on Delta Airlines Flight submitted by VenturaHWY to NewsOfTheWeird [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 MetalMusicLover777 What an ass😍🥵🍑

What an ass😍🥵🍑 submitted by MetalMusicLover777 to RheaRipley [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 vantuzproper Can TWiLightMenu++ launch cartridges?

I’m going to install TWiLightMenu++ on my DSi when it arrives. Is it able to launch game cartridges and system DSiWare?
submitted by vantuzproper to nds [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 TreatmentBoundLess Just discovered Fountains of Wayne… wow.

just discovered this amazing band last week and I've been listening on repeat ever since. Obviously, I knew Stacey’s Mom…. But holy cow, Welcome Insterstate Managers knocked me out. I heard Bret Easton Ellis gushing about Fountains of Wayne on his podcast and thought why not check them out. Welcome Insterstate Managers is a masterpiece. I mean their songs are perfect, the chord progressions, the melodies, the lyrics. Every time I listen, I’m filled with a kind of joy and optimism. I didn’t grow up in the American suburbs, but the Australian urban sprawl doesn’t seem too different. The themes Adam and Chris hit upon appear to be universal.
They remind a little of Big Star, but actually better I think - not a knock on Big Star, big fan. I heard someone say that the history of pop music is contained in Welcome Insterstate Managers and I kind of agree. It’s such a shame that I had to wait until I was 39 to discover them and it’s so sad to learn of Adam’s passing, but I’m excited to hear more of this incredible band. Not to mention Adam and Chris’s side projects.
Anyway, this is a long, rambling post but I thought I had to post something. It’s been a long time since I’ve discovered a band as amazing as this. The exciting sense of discovery is palpable here.
I haven’t actually got past Welcome Insterstate Managers yet either. Can’t wait to hear their other albums.
submitted by TreatmentBoundLess to fountainsofwayne [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 dispatchdcu Darkhawk #4 Preview - out Dec 1st

Darkhawk #4 Preview - out Dec 1st submitted by dispatchdcu to Comicbookdispatch [link] [comments]


2021.11.27 06:32 anonplaying LF: Shiny Stone FT: Feebas, Chimchar, Gible, Aipom

submitted by anonplaying to pokemontrades [link] [comments]


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